Title: Stargazing

Author: Anna B

Status: Done

Category: SJR

Rating: G

Season/Sequel: Sequel to my fic Summers Place

Spoilers: None

Archive: SJ yes/ Heliopolis Yes

Summary: Sam and Jack do a little stargazing

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction intended solely for entertainment, no infringement in intended to MGM; Gekko or Double Secret Productions.

Copyright (c) Anna B. 2000

Authors Note: The two poems used are The Coin and I Know the Stars by Sara Teasdale and used without permission. They are from Flame and Shadows. Oh, and thanks to my mom for teaching me to love poetry.

Feedback is always appreciated.

Stargazing

By Anna B

"Hey Carter," Sam looked up at her CO popped his head into the lab, "busy tonight?"

"Um no," she answered, "Why?"

"Meet me topside at six," he answered with a wink and then disappeared from view.

So, she wondered, what the heck was that all about? Get a grip, it probably has to do with the mission, SG1 was due to leave for PX129GP in twenty-four hours. Picking up her scanner, Sam shrugged, no sense in making herself crazy, she'd find out at six.

Three hours later Sam stood in front of the mirror in her quarters and made a face at her reflection. . She couldn't do much about her attire, other than uniforms and fatigues, she only kept one dress at the base for the occasional party. Khakis and a tee shirt would have to do, she thought, as she fluffed her hair, besides this is not a date. As she reached for her jacket, there was a knock at the door. Sam opened it to find Daniel, Teal'c and Janet standing there.

"We're heading for the mess hall, you coming," asked Daniel.

"Um, not now thanks." Sam ignored the look Janet was giving her, "Maybe I'll catch up with you later."

"Okay, see you later then."

Sam watched as the trio turned the corner and then grabbed her direction and headed in the opposite direction toward the elevator. She punched the button and waited for the car to arrive, stepping on it she pushed the up button and leaned against the wall. What could the Colonel have up his sleeve this time and why topside? Relax, she told herself, it's no big deal, yeah right. Sam had been attracted to Jack O'Neill almost from the beginning and until recently she'd managed to push those feelings aside by frequently reminding herself he was her commanding officer. The revelation that he was the man she thought of as her knight in shining armor had made it increasingly difficult for her to avoid them. She smiled, after that night, she used to dream that he'd come back for her some day and sweep her off her feet. Once she got over that adolescent daydream, she found herself comparing the men she met to her knight. Of course since she'd built this incredible fantasy man up in her mind they'd always been lacking. Who'd have thought that the kind, gentle, man on the beach would turn out to be Jack O'Neill? The elevator stopped and Sam stepped out into the corridor. Smiling at the guard, she walked through the metal detector and out into the gathering dusk. She looked around, no sign of the Colonel, and a quick glance at her watch confirmed the time, 6:02 PM.

"Excuse me Captain?" She turned to find a young airman standing beside her. "I'm Briggs, I'm to escort you to the Colonel. Follow me please."

Sam followed the young man along the jogging path that various SGC personnel had worn into the rough terrain around the underground complex. Maybe it was official business but what kind, she thought when her musing was interrupted by Briggs.

"Colonel O'Neill is waiting just past those trees ma'am."

"Thank you Briggs."

The airman nodded and winked, "Anytime ma'am," with a snappy salute he headed back to the complex. Sam watched him go and then started back down the path.

The Colonel standing near a bluff, watching her as she approached, she really was lovely, he thought. He remembered how pretty she'd been when he'd first seen her and how he'd thought that she'd be stunning when she'd grown up. I was right, he thought as he watched her walk toward him searching for that little girl in the woman, catching a glimpse of her when Sam smiled at him.

She let her gaze wander around the small clearing, a boom box, a bottle of wine and two glasses sat on the ground near a blanket in front of a portable fire pit. No wonder Airman Briggs had grinned and winked. "Setting the scene Colonel?"

Jack returned her grin, "You could say that. Call me Jack, we're off duty remember?" He took her hand and they walked the few feet to the blanket. As she settled down Jack poured them each a glass of wine and turned on the boom box. Sam was surprised to hear the sound of surf coming out of the speakers. Handing her a wineglass Jack lowered him self beside her. "Happy Anniversary Sam."

She searched her mind trying to figure what anniversary he could possibly be referring to. It wasn't her joining SG1 and she really couldn't thank of any other event they would be celebrating the anniversary of. "Okay, I give, what anniversary?"

"I'm hurt," Jack pouted, "you don't remember the anniversary of our first meeting?"

"First meeting, but sir, that was before the Abydos- oh that one," Sam smiled as the meeting he was talking about dawned on her, "Labor Day weekend, on the beach."

"Got it in one," he clinked his glass against hers taking a sip. "Sorry I couldn't take you to the beach, this is the best I could do." He gestured to the fire and the boom box, "But we can see the stars just as clearly."

"Better, it was overcast that night remember?"

Jack set down his glass, "What I remember is my friend Tom asking me to keep an eye on, what was his name?"

"David Thornsberry." Sam supplied, "Pre-med from Ohio. Dayton."

"Yeah, right. Tom asked me to watch Dave and make sure he didn't take advantage of the very pretty blonde he was with. He said she was not what she appeared to be."

"He told you she was a kid who was trying to pretend she was older than she was. "

"Okay, yeah, something like that." He leaned back on his elbows, "So I watched Dave take the girl by the hand and head away from the party and I followed them. True to form, Dave was trying," Jack smiled at Sam, "and failing to, um, seduce the pretty blonde, so I-"

"So you jumped off your white horse and saved the fair maiden." Sam finished for him, "If you were following us, why did it take you so long to rescue me?"

"White horse?"

"Never mind that, answer the question, what took you so long?"

"I tripped," he mumbled.

"Excuse me?" Sam sat up and poked him in the ribs, "what?"

"Ouch," He captured her hand in his, "I said I tripped. I fell over a piece of driftwood and fell on my ass. Happy?"

Sam laughed, "Oh, my, gosh," she gasped, "so much for my teenage fantasies about my dashing knight."

Jack sat up, "Whoa! You fantasized about me?"

"Down boy, I was only fourteen remember?" Sam blushed, "but yes, I did, just not like that." She swatted his arm, "I used to imagine you'd, well not exactly you, but my fantasy of you, would come and sweep me off my feet and take me away."

"Away?" He was tickled that she'd fantasized about him, "Away where?"

Sam shrugged, "Anywhere but where I was at the time. I even gave you a name. Trevor."

"Trevor?"

Sam nodded, "Trevor. Hey I was fifteen, Trevor sounded, I don't know, romantic."

"Fourteen, and Trevor sounds, I don't know, wimpy?"

"Not when I gave you the name. Wimpy?" She poured herself another glass of wine and glanced over at him. God, she thought, I can't believe I'm telling him this. "Romantic. I even told the other girls you were my boyfriend. Well not you-"

"But the fantasy me, I got that. So how long was I your boyfriend?"

"Until I was allowed to date, at sixteen, and got my first real boyfriend. Scott." Sam gave a little sigh, "He was the best kisser."

"The best huh?" Jack leaned back again and watched her face. Sometimes she had the most expressive face, like now, as she was remembering that first love.

"At sixteen I thought he was," she looked over at Jack, "Did you ever think about me?"

"Yeah I did," he confessed, "I even told Sara about it when we first met. She said later she only went out with me because of that story."

Sam smiled at him, "Great, the most romantic moment of my life was your pick up line."

"Well, I only used it that one time."

"Because it worked," she shot back at him.

"Like a charm. Thanks."

"Anytime," Sam tilted her head up and watched as a plane swept across the sky. "You know, even though I've seen the night sky thousands of times since then, I can still remember the constellations that we saw that night. "Sagittarius."

"And Cygnus," Jack added, "Pretty good viewing for an overcast night."

They sat in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. The tape stopped and neither of them seemed to notice. After a few minutes Jack broke the silence, "You know I took a poetry class because of you?"

"Really?"

"Yep. Hated every minute of it, there were no poems about stars." He laughed, "And I think you were part of the reason I kept up with my star gazing too. Sometimes I used to sit and look up in the sky and wonder whatever happened to you. You know, did you ever make it to the stars or had you given it all up for a husband and kids?"

Sam was touched, "I used to wonder about you too. I used to imagine all these different scenarios. You were a doctor or a lawyer, or and don't you dare laugh, a spy. "

He smiled, "A spy huh? Never thought about that as a career choice. Did you ever wonder about ole Dave?"

"Ugh, no." Sam made a face, "well occasionally I hoped he met a painful end. But he's probably a wildly successful surgeon or something."

"If it makes you feel better he suffered a tragic accident at his frat house, fell down a flight of stairs at a party, busted his nose." Jack gave her a wide eyed innocent look, "Clumsy fellow.'

"Imagine that." Sam said, " Tripped huh? I guess I owe you for that one too."

"Nope. Tom." Jack swirled the wine around in his glass, "Besides, you don't owe me, if anyone owes anyone I owe you a good portion of my sanity."

Sam looked over at him trying to read his thoughts. His face was closed off, as it often was when he thought of the bad times. She wanted to reach out and hold him, but didn't dare. So instead she asked quietly, "Me? Why?"

He took a deep breath and then exhaled, "When I was in Iraq, I would look up at the stars and think about you. I held onto the image of that little girl and her determination. There was a poem, by the same woman who wrote Stars, I used to recite it in my head." He fell silent and took a drink of his wine, "I still remember it." He closed his eyes and recited,

"Into my heart's treasury,

That time cannot take

Nor a thief purloin

Oh better than the minting

Of a gold crowned king

Is the safe-kept memory,

Of a lovely thing."

Blinking back tears, Sam reached over and took his hand, as silence descended over the pair as they sat and looked up into the dark sky. The stars glittered overhead like they had that night so many years ago when their lives had collided. Sam glanced over at him, there is no use fighting it anymore, she thought, you've been in love with him since you were fourteen years old. He may not be the idealized version you imagined and he might be slightly battered and bent by life, but he still is your knight in shining armor. But she didn't voice those feelings, instead she said, "The irony is I was there, in that desert, I wonder how many times our lives nearly touched and we never knew it?"

"Hard to tell, I joined the Air Force not long after that night. You went where, El Paso?"

"For a year or so, then dad got transferred to Edwards and we spent a couple of years there. I think we moved when I was seventeen. I finished high school in Washington DC and then it was on to college."

"I was at Edwards for awhile myself, right after Sara and I got married, but I guess you were gone by then." He smiled at her, "Do you believe in fate Sam?"

"I've never given it much thought, do you?"

He shrugged, "Never thought much about it myself, until now. Our lives seem to have crossed and twined since that night. A whole lot of things had to happen to get us both on that beach at that moment. I was in Michigan visiting my uncle. His neighbor's son's girlfriend was having a party and he invited me and I decided what the heck and went."

"I was there because my dad was sent to the Middle East and I couldn't go and my mom had died so he left me with his cousin." Sam paused, "Then my friend Sandy broke up with her boyfriend and convinced me to go along with her wild plan."

"And her sister's boyfriend just happened to ask me to keep an eye on you because he didn't trust his frat brother. "

Sam smiled at him, "Fate huh, a random sequence of events that lead up to that one moment? I can't come up with a better explanation."

"And the odds we'd end up working together here? How many random events lead up to that?"

"I couldn't begin to calculate them, starting with the discovery of the Stargate-"

"And ending up with us sitting under the stars talking about fate." Jack said softly. He watched her face in the firelight. There was a little bit of the pretty fourteen year old who had sat beside him on that far away beach and told him about her dreams. He'd carried that image with his for a long time, held onto that innocence when things were bad. Jack realized he'd only stopped when Sam had stepped into that briefing room. Since that time, when he needed something to hold onto he'd held onto her, "The stars seem to be the thing that bind us together Sam."

"And a poet named Sara Teasdale," Sam answered as she looked over at him. "I still read her poetry all the time." Sam looked at him and spoke very softly,

"I know the stars by their names,

Aldebaran, Altair,

And I know the path they take

Up heaven's broad blue stair.

By the look of their eyes,

But your eyes are dark to me

Though they seem to call and call-

I cannot tell if you love me

Or do not love me at all.

I know many things,

I shall die not knowing

The thing I long to know."

Jack looked as her slightly stunned and then slowly reached out, tilting her face to his. He brushed her lips with a gentle kiss and said softly. "I do Sam, I'm just not sure if I should." His eyes searched her face and he could see that she understood as she moved into his embrace and they sat in the darkness and watched their stars.

The End