Title: Afterwards

Author: Anna B

Status: Done

Category: SJR/PWP

Rating: PG13 Version

Season/Sequel: None

Spoilers: None

Archive: SJ yes/ anyone else ask

Summary: Jack comforts Sam after a mission

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction intended solely for entertainment,

no infringement in intended to MGM; Gekko or Double Secret Productions.

Copyright (c) Anna B. 1999

Authors Note: I got this idea stuck in my head at work and just had to write it. There's not much plot, and what there is, well, it's an excuse to get Sam and Jack horizontal.

Feedback is always appreciated.

Afterwards

By Anna B

Janet Fraiser looked up as Colonel O'Neill rushed into the infirmary. He looks worse than Sam did, she thought as she took in his disheveled and bleak appearance. What had happened on PX957? All she knew was that Teal'c had carried Sam through the gate and Jack and Daniel had followed several minutes later. Daniel was now resting comfortably with a fractured tibfib, but Sam, well her physical injuries weren't severe, but psychologically-.

"Where is she?"

"She left as soon as I finished with her exam. Colonel what happened?"

O'Neill hesitated before answering her, " She didn't tell you?"

Janet shook her head, "No. I tried to get her to talk about it, but she brushed me off. Jack," Janet laid a hand on his sleeve, "from her injuries I can tell she was attacked and that she must have put up one hell of a fight."

"She was," he said, "she did and she killed him."

"What the hell happened out there?"

Her question was never answered O'Neill was already making his way through the labyrinth of corridors toward the personnel quarters. Slowing to a stop outside her quarters, he tried to slow his breathing. He hadn't been aware he had been moving quite so fast. He knocked on the door, "Major?" Receiving no answer, he tried again, knocking a little louder. "Carter?" There was no response, concerned he slowly pushed the door open, "Sam?" As he stepped in the darkened room he could barely make her out sitting on the edge of the bed.

As he approached she stood up, "Sir?"

"I came to see if you were okay."

"I'm fine sir."

Jack reached out and flicked on the bedside lamp bathing the room in a soft glow of light. "You don't look fine."

She turned away from him trying to conceal her tearstained face and swollen eyes. "Please go away sir."

"No, can't. Sam, I'm sorry I should have been there-"

"I don't want to talk about it, please go."

He moved to her side and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder, "Sam, look at me," he said as he turned her face to his, wincing at the sight of the bruises along her jaw and the scratches on her neck. Damn it, I should have been there to protect her, he thought, "Samantha-"

"No," she whispered, tilting her face upward and pressing two fingers against his lips. "Don't say anything," she wrapped her other arm around his waist melting against him. "Just love me Jack. Make love to me." She buried her face in his neck, "Please, Jack."

He moved his head and kissed her, running his hand through her soft hair. He knew this had little to do with sex. This had more to do with losing yourself in someone's arms, with comfort and the need to be held. He wrapped his arms around her as he deepened the kiss. The emotions that welled up inside him were complicated. Complicated and dangerous and the very thing he had guarded against since his divorce. But he wasn't going to guard against that now. Sam needed him. He wanted to hold her and let her know everything would be okay. He wanted her and not just because he was aching with desire, but because he was aching in a corner of his soul. The corner he had closed off when Charlie died. The corner that Sam had touched.

He had fought against it, he told himself he didn't want anything permanent, that he didn't want to love again. His head kept telling his this was a mistake, but he couldn't keep from touching her, from wanting her or from loving her. We could have this, he thought, as long as he kept his objectivity. As long as they could separate the personal from the professional, then all rational thought left him as Sam grew bolder, sliding her hands under his shirt, running her fingers along his spine.

They undressed each other with and urgency born of need, abandoning their clothes to the floor. Jack dropped petal soft kisses on the bruising along her jaw, his hands exploring, sliding along her shoulders, down her smooth back. His lips traveling across her collarbone and then lower still.

"Look at me," he whispered.

Sam opened her eyes, slowly afraid that he would see. That he would she how much she wanted him, how she wanted this. How much he meant to her. And she was afraid of what she might see in his.

"Samantha-"

"No," she whispered closing her eyes.

Jack held back for a moment, wondering at the pain he felt at her refusal. He wanted her to be his, he needed her to be his, body and soul and she was retreating, pulling into herself and he knew his body wouldn't give him the time he needed to pull her back.

Afterwards, he looked at her cuddled against him and tried to deny it again. She wasn't for him, not in any permanent way. There was too much against them. They were being drawn together by circumstances, by proximity. He closed his eyes against the truth, that he loved her.

She lay curled against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. What was he thinking, she wondered, what must he think of her? She had needed to be held, needed to erase the memory with the touch of someone who cared. But she knew, deep in her heart, she needed more, because she loved him. She felt Jack shift beside her and looked up at him through her lashes. The tender look on his face almost took her breath away.

"I better go," he said, as he eased out of the bed and reached for his pants, avoiding her eyes.

Sam sat up and wrapped the sheet around her, "Fine," she murmured as she watched him pull on his boots.

He looked over her and she looked so small, so lost. He knelt in front of her, "I don't want to, but-"

"I understand."

"Do you?" He grasped her hands in his, "Sam, do you?"

She looked up at him, trying to control the emotion that threatened to overwhelm her. "Yes I do Jack."

Satisfied, he rose and pulled his shirt on. The overhead speaker blared, causing both of them to start, "Colonel O'Neill to the briefing room; Major Carter to the briefing room, Doctor Fraiser to the briefing room-"

Sam stood up and dropped the sheet as she reached for her own clothing. Jack watched as she dressed and glanced in the mirror running her hands through her hair. "You better go," she said as she met his eyes in the mirror.

He crossed the room and wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her quickly, "Sam I-"

She placed a finger on his lips, "I know Jack. So do I," she whispered. And as he looked in her eyes, he knew that she did.

The End